self lover =p

recently, kinda pai seh to admit, i've been reading back my own old blog and diary posts, and going through my old photos rather  frequently. LOL. just to see how far i've gone through, how much i've achieved blah blah blah. ya, i know, sometimes i do this reflect-on-myself-thing way often than needed, in other words, thinking too much.

anyway, all people are self lovers, so why not love yourself more too? hrm. just that sometimes i have this intimidated feeling when i see some people really pro in the way they carry themselves. clear speech, good humour, confident comments. i mean, its actually nothing to do with me right? as long as i'm comfortable and i don't care. hrmm. BUT. i no comfortable. damnnn. and why do i even care. lol.

i think i need to really truly learn to not care useless stuff. need to revert my focus to more useful, better things. and i think THAT is exactly the way to not care, and to feel comfortable. focus on other better things!! gosh. sometimes i feel i need to just yell at myself =.=

also, just admit that i'm weird. its easier that way. LOL. everyone is weird in their own ways anyway =p

aaaaand. from what i see, i just think 自己的生活还是自己负责的。so, sometimes, we really need to grow up, and think what IS the best for ourselves. and, also, focus on other BETTER things. the world is still turning. things are still going on. so many awesome things you will miss out just because you paused for too long.

ya, i regretted that i paused for a while, during A levels. 人，不进则退。its NEVER good to pause. life just goes on and on....until we die anyway. so now i'm catching up again i guess? its a bit too late if i compare with those who already are at the top. BUT again, there's always the different paths. we get to see things others don't, and others see things we don't.

imagine i can't shop by myself just 2 years ago (always afraid to ask and always need sis to confirm my choice of items). and now i spent almost 300 bucks by myself in one week==

that's growing up i guess. even though its a small detail =p

compare to this kinda things, sometimes i feel studying is just the easiest thing in the world. sigh. why of all things, i pro at nerd?=.=

i'm slow. but that just mean i'm discovering things at a different timing. no harm at all. just, keep it going =D

oh my goshhh i want ma holidays shooooo badly.

i really miss my zoo gang =(

and imma gonna make something again i guess.

til then.

chaoz~