Hi, i shouldn't be here at all. Why? I'm having two final papers in two consecutive days tomorrow and the day after. Yes, I'm am studying. Notes and tutorials are piling in front of me just this very moment.
So why am I here? Engineering, as much as i like it and as much as i've already chosen it. Facing the exams always gives me second thoughts about it. Being buried in equations and very tough syllabus, which might sound as much as alien language to any normal human being, its really hard to stay positive about this particular career path that i've chosen at the age 19.
And always at this kinda timing, regrets of not choosing the OTHER path will flood my mind. Yep, the OTHER path, namely architecture. I would dream of going back to age 19 and take up architecture instead of engineering. I would dream of building models with cardboards instead of hacking my brain on equations and theories. I would imagine that I'll be so good at sketching that I can design my future dream home and create many many dream homes for people to live in. And it left me utterly lost at what I'm doing with seemingly pointless equations in engineering.
Sigh. I know it wouldn't be easy either if I have indeed chosen to study architecture. The assignments might be 10 times stressful than the ones i'm having now. Also, I might also turn out to dislike architecture in the middle of it. But, at the bottom line, I could picture myself designing and drawing for the sake of being able to create a pretty dream house one day. With engineering, honestly, i'm lost at what i'm at able to create one day. a circuit board? a system?
Seriously, this thought pop up every single time when i'm facing exams. whether that i've chosen my path wrongly. And the fact that i'm already completing my 3rd year, on the way to do my final, has as well concluded the fact that i have to be an engineer.
Stressful moment induce stressful thoughts. see? i need to find a plan so that I can achieve what i want as an engineer as well.
Okay. Back to studies. two more days!!
Monday, June 23, 2014
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Mature
Recently, I've followed this page on facebook called "Humans of New York". I kinda enjoy reading their every post. It nice to read the views of random people of all ages and races in the world. There's this quote from a random dude on the page, "You mature the moment you know what you want to do". Hmm, wise.
That's why I have not matured? I don't know what I want to do. A year to graduation, I have not figured it out. Ya, its not easy to 'figure' your life out for most people. Most people are not born with a burning passion to do what you are destined to do and are able to chase you lifelong dream the minute you turn 18 or something. If you are, bless you. You are so lucky.
The rest of us. Still figuring things out, still uncertain, still lost. The best which I could come out with, are things that I like and things that I don't. So, to make myself feel nearer to my destined path to be, I will slowly collect the things I like, chase the things I like, and it could bring me to a future which I would like it to be? Heh. You know, nice food, maths, nice buildings, nice quotes, nice people, nice places...
Recently, I've received news that I have completed my industrial training. I have thought that I would need to go for another 8 weeks of internship this summer but it turned out that now I'm free to do whatever I want to do!! woohoo! final freedom which last for 3 months. I should slowly plan it out and make it worthwhile. I should get an interesting job and earn some travelling money. I want to go for a graduation trip! somewhere overseas. heh. korea? hmm three months! what should I do with that amount of free time?
On the nearer future, my one month break is about to begin! Just one more week of exams. I shall dedicate myself to learn cooking and read for most of the times. I'll be up to any short getaways near home. And most importantly i'll be collecting things which I like, like literally.
til then. ciao.
That's why I have not matured? I don't know what I want to do. A year to graduation, I have not figured it out. Ya, its not easy to 'figure' your life out for most people. Most people are not born with a burning passion to do what you are destined to do and are able to chase you lifelong dream the minute you turn 18 or something. If you are, bless you. You are so lucky.
The rest of us. Still figuring things out, still uncertain, still lost. The best which I could come out with, are things that I like and things that I don't. So, to make myself feel nearer to my destined path to be, I will slowly collect the things I like, chase the things I like, and it could bring me to a future which I would like it to be? Heh. You know, nice food, maths, nice buildings, nice quotes, nice people, nice places...
Recently, I've received news that I have completed my industrial training. I have thought that I would need to go for another 8 weeks of internship this summer but it turned out that now I'm free to do whatever I want to do!! woohoo! final freedom which last for 3 months. I should slowly plan it out and make it worthwhile. I should get an interesting job and earn some travelling money. I want to go for a graduation trip! somewhere overseas. heh. korea? hmm three months! what should I do with that amount of free time?
On the nearer future, my one month break is about to begin! Just one more week of exams. I shall dedicate myself to learn cooking and read for most of the times. I'll be up to any short getaways near home. And most importantly i'll be collecting things which I like, like literally.
til then. ciao.
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