First day of work

First day of work. is TOUGH. my mentor really did pushed me hard enough. my mail box is already full of instructions even before I manage to google "server park". aaaand, he expected me to read up and understand and perform ALL the stuff I've only heard of and touch on the same day.

Ya he's understanding and sharing and patient. but, he's still a boss. and he expects me to deliver. like. very fast. sigh. not easy at all. I'm all stressed out indeed. I tried to capture every word whenever some one is explaining something. and everything just seems all over the places I do not know what goes where. and everyone is busy with their research I can only depend on myself in mine.

And turn out I'm such a dumb and failed miserably, on my first day. gah. gah. GAHHHH. it's so hard. why you no gimme time to adapt and digest and prepareeeeee. it's my first freaking dayyyy. 

GOSH. I better buck up. organize. plan. PREPARE. read. GET IT DONE! WELL! eeeeeeee things please get better. I need motivation, and courage. terribly. 

add value!! NEED TO ADD VALUEEEE to myself.