The List

iThe time has come, to make not just another list, but The List. The List is a list that comprises everything that I want to do, I need to do, and I must do to utilize the unlimited free time starting from now.

Yes, you may have heard, I HAVE COMPLETED MY DEGREE!!!!!! I am officially unemployed. I am done being a student! I am now awaiting my results, and will soon participate in my convocation making me a certified engineer.

So upon completion of my degree, of course i have unlimited free time, until i organize everything and start work. And so, there are 3 sections in The List, namely EVERYTHING-I-NEED-TO-GET-MY-FIRST-JOB, REFORM-OLD-BONDS, and ENJOY-FREE-TIME. tadahhh. This will give me balance, in dealing with reality, in fostering relationships with the beloveds and also in alone self learning time for myself.

EVERYTHING-I-NEED-TO-GET-MY-FIRST-JOB
Well, this is easily the most boring part of the list, nevertheless, its the most important part, not to mention that its the main reason of why this list is made at the first place: to make sure that i make get some real work done, amid all the fun.

Resume, LinkIn accound, Jobstreet account, online banking account... All this has to be done. And I have to consider the Research Assistant position offered by my FYP supervisor. And then of course, there is the researching and applying for real engineering jobs. Research and survey, as I dont know which field I would want to venture into. Now that I am finally out of the hopeless endless narrow tunnel of studying and assignments, I'm finally able to make choices in the broad daylight full of hope and options and opportunities,

REFORM-OLD-BONDS
Now, this is the tricky part. You see, in the process of getting to my engineering degree, which i have mentioned countless of times involves stressful studies and endless suffocating workloads, i have regretfully abandoned many of my friendship bonds. 

Now, with all the free time, I can start making contact with the old friends! Except that it didn't go very well. I didn't realize that, until I've tried. What do u say the the people which are not in your lives for the last 3-4 years. An update, and then?

It's not easy to repair, or reform. 

ENJOY-FREE-TIME

this is easily the easiest part. I'm doing so fine in following the grey's anatomy drama series, and the Game of Thrones novels. It's so much fun!!! I've been deprived of doing what I want and never had the oppurtunity to laze around during the semester, and now I have all the time in the world!

But, too much of the good thing ruins it. Now I need some self discipline and get working on other potential hobbies such as cooking and writing and drawing and shopping.

I foresee myself up and working in August. That's like 3 weeks from now. Now, i can finally say: Trust me, I'm an engineer.

#eatpraylove

Okay, this is a post that I've taken deliberate time to draft. I've recently finish reading Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. It took me ages to finally complete this book, as it is the kinda book that needs to be read in small doses. There's a lot of details and feelings to be processed and needs mulling over in order for one to get this book properly. And it puts life into perspective and gave me so much to think about. So here, I just want to copy and record some of the quotes from the book, so that I would not forget.

My feelings for this book has its ups and downs. It took me a long time to get through the first one third of the book. As the first part of the book, the author describes about her complications and depressions after going through a divorce. There's a lot of frustrations, and it shows that how her sad feelings keep boiling over even though she has tried very hard to get over it (by going all the way to Italy to live and travel). I really disliked it and was thinking, why couldn't she get over with it after all this time? What is she doing wrong? Why does she end up brooding?

Well, that is something I want to avoid and rid of- brooding, overthinking. And after reading the first part, I was seriously thinking, am I one day going to face some shit in life and feel that amount of depression? Would I be able to handle it or would I just give in to brooding and suffer for the rest of my life?? Well, gratefully, the second and third part of the book- Pray and Love gave me lots of perspective and answers. And these quotes are from some of my favourite lines in the book:

1. The task at hand in Yoga is to find union- between mind and body, between the individual and her God, between our thoughts and the source of thoughts.

2. We're miserable because we think that we are mere individuals, alone with our fears and flaws and resentments and mortality. We wrongly believe that our limited little egos constitute our whole entire nature. We have failed to recognize our deeper divine character.

3. You are, after all, what you think. Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.

4. That's just your ego, trying to make sure it stays in charge. This is what your ego does. It keeps you feeling separate, keeps you with a sense of duality, tries to convince you that you're flawed and broken and alone instead of whole.

5. Instead of trying to forcefully take thoughts out of your mind, give your mind something better to play with. Something healthier. Like what? Like love, like pure divine love.

6. The resting place of the mind is the heart.

7. We gallop through our lives like circus performances balancing on two speeding side-by-side horses- on foot is on the horse called 'fate', the other on the horse called 'free will'. And the question you have to ask every day is, Which horse is which? Which horse do I need to stop worrying bout because it's not under my control, and which do I need to steer with concentrated effort?

8. I can choose my thoughts. Admit to the existence of negative thoughts, understanding where  they came from and why they arrived, and then- with great forgiveness and fortitude- dismiss them.

9. Happiness is a consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings.

10. Clearing out all your misery gets you out of the way. You cease being an obstacle, not only to yourself but to everyone else. Only then are you free to serve and enjoy other people.