some things

some things, I do not enjoy as much as some others. some times, I wanna be quiet just as it is. some people, I would not get them at all. some ways, I don't see how it would make it through. 

it's mid sem break. and the first response of most people is hoooorayyyyy!!!! and five minutes later, it's restlessness, sienness, laziness and emoness. lol, all the same, I noticed, including myself. yet, its just the 'culture shock' I think? I'm pretty sure everyone would enjoy themselves and settle down just as well in the next few days. 

anyways, I'm seeing the huge difference in the people I'm mixing with. le Pmo, le zoo, le chs, le uni people. lol. sometimes, I'm not even sure how did I fit in. or, did I?? 

also. I'm sensing submittal in myself. or maybe I'm already like that since long ago? anyhow it's more clear now and I sometimes find myself accepting a little too quickly. is it even good or? or maybe it has became a habit already =\ and seriously, I would never know what to do with myself. 

engineering. 是祸是福，嫣然不知。 

so. an yeong people!! hwaitinggg. enjoy. have joy. and hope with all your heart. even your wishes would not or might not come true, it's still healthy for your heart to hope =D 

til then. 

chaoz~

Brain Teaser

Life is like a brain teaser. 

You would try all sorts of methods in the world to solve the mystery, all sorts of ways to find the answers, to find happiness, to find love and to find meaning. yet, you can't find them. you've tried almost everything. ALMOST. and often, the answer is just sitting there, right next to you, and its the simplest of all. But, we're ALWAYS distracted by irrelevant stuff, tonnes of them, until we can't seemed to find the right answer we're looking for. Even if we're aware of it, we STILL waste time on them. some because they give us temporary pleasures, some because we're simply lazy. some because we're too afraid to face our fears. and more often, when we FINALLY get the answers we want, the damage has been done. someone has got hurt. regrets have been made. there will always be a scar. 

sometimes humans just make the dumbest mistakes over and over again. we have millennium of ancestors lining up before us. They even painstakingly record their stories in countless books and journals. yet, here we are, the humans generations after generations, broken, corrupted, suffering, angry, afraid, and never fulfilled.  

Seriously, sometimes humans just act so stupidly I wanna slap them. Its like we're living our lives in a brain dead or half sleeping state. most of the things just past by right in front of our eyes without us knowing. We don't pay attention to the world we're living in. most of the things we do is just for the sake of doing, half heartedly, filled with discontentment. then, how, HOW THE HELL are you suppose to look for what you want??

Humans are expressive creatures. EXPRESS YOURSELF. that SHOULD be the main thing what the schools should teach. often, problems are caused not because of lacking expertise, but of miscommunication, misunderstanding, disagreement, missing information, etc. and these causes frustration, anger, discontentment, and all sorts of negative energy which would be transferred to even more people and then ka booom! everyone explodes! if we can all express ourselves properly and accurately, and everyone pays attention, everybody would know what everybody wants, then we all might just live happily ever after. 

yet again, being a human is no easy task. it's so tiring at times I just wanna throw everything away. its a journey looking for what you want. and being clueless and hopelessly lost in the first few decades of your life is freakinggggg frustrating. 

it's fast, but I'm feeling sort of bored again. the momentum is sorta gone and I really need another boost. the camp thingy is giving me less than i expected. mostly because i think they took in too much manpower than needed. unnecessary delays and discussion prolonging decision making process. maybe, I shall turn into the books I've collected but had not the chance to read.  

all I know is, if I live through the shits today, i'll come out from the other end a little bit stronger. a little bit. 

you know what's the secret? it's to have joy in the things you do. not to seek experience, money, fun, or any sort of purpose, just enjoying the things you do in pure joy. then, all the insecurity, lack of confidence, self pity would be gone just like that. =D

find joy, and you'll be on the right path.

til then. 

chaoz~

contented

hi. it's been good recently. though most of my studies are still in a screwed up condition? lol. looks like, I have sort of 'leveled' up? not affected though I'm having trouble with my studies @@ 

okay. so why am I in such a contented mode? hmm. first of all, I'm having good food. if my tummy's happy, I'm happy =D  

next, it's the weather. I'm happy if it is raining! no heat, no pimples, hence
nice skin, you see =D 

and life has been happening. the 'on' mode for outings and gatherings, meetings, even farewells and also exercise. ahaha. how happening, you'd ask? WE PLAYED BADMINTON IN FRONT OF THE AUDITORIUM AT MIDNIGHT AT MONASH. thats how happening it is =D 

and of course the main reason, is the people around me. I'm happy with the people around me. simple and small things i see keep me happy always. imma surrounded with positive energy!!! =D my family, uni, and mostly uni. ok, enough elaboration here. fill in the details however you like =p 

til then. 

chaoz~