over the years, where i said again and again, and regretted again and again, that i've changed..no longer being the natural leader, the carer, the speaker, sort of stuff.. some remain though, i found out recently. ya.blurr me.haha..hrm. for example, the love for maths. it didn't just come to me over night or even in the recent years. since maybe kindergarten, i've been fond of numbers. lol. at that time, it was simply because its much simpler than the 26 alphabets. there's only 10 numbers you see, so it means less homework for me to practise writing. and who knows why i never, couldn't, wouldn't, change my god damn 'unique' way of holding a pencil. mine is like holding a rock. lol. so again, i couldn't produce beautiful, identical, perfect writings in a straight line. yea, my handwriting sucks. til now. haha..so numbers are again easier for me. and one pathetic fact, i'm 19 and i still couldn't sign properly. argh. how long i've tried to design a signature??maybe its easier if its in numbers?? and again, numbers are simple and logical, the never changing rules for me are common sense. haha. like duh??1+1 is 2!!lol. here's one time, in the end of year 3, my mum bought me a standard 4 maths work book. and i finished it in a week, even before the holidays ended. other work books, haha. blank. in form 3, i borrowed kumon maths for crystal after pmr, just for the fun doing it. lol. so u get the point.
so. that's 1 fact that remains. another one is my habit of writing notes. when i was particularly down, or happy, that is. i used to have a secret page in my note book, where i stick to pages of the paper together to form a paper pocket. i would insert notes like ' gambateh' , ' i miss mum', sort of secret thoughts into it.haha. and of course its always found out and read by somebody some how. embarrassing. lol. but, yep. this habit remains. but of course i don't do it in a note book with a paper pocket anymore. i use technology. and thank god, its more reliable and no one could read them anymore. haha.
and the art works!!haha. i'm proud that this last until now. it starts from standard 3 i think. and during secondary i almost make one kind of artwork every year. haha.i always give away all of them to people i love, and barely having a single one for myself. lol. i don't like keeping my art works, the effort will be totally wasted. haha. i've did manga drawings, fun drawing, stars, name stickers, pom poms, book marks, cards, names done with strings...
these are the most recent ones i made!!=]
the bunny is for crystal!!and the owl is for ning!!though i dunno when i'll see u and its way too early for ur b'day..and its not ji..but owl is the same kind i gues??haha..too bad i can't mass produce it like a pom pom..its too time consuming. i need 4 hours to make one..aiks..so i'll slowly make when i have time k?? i swear i'll make more!!
and bout the crappy mood. it gets over fast. how??for me, i stuff headphone in my ears, loud music (not soft volumes that i usually set to blend with the noise around me just so i can concentrate). loud ones which are just enough to cover up my crappy thoughts. then, a cup of Chinese tea, only for myself (not like the usual which i make for everyone else), and homework. ya. all things to occupy me just to get over with the crappy mood. and after its over, blog. and there it is, satisfaction=] and ok, this is not one of the stuffs that remains after so many years. in fact, it is developed only in recent years. to deal with the whole growing up complication.
hrm.. have i gone to be a loser after all these years?a certain person always make me feel like one. but no matter. its just crappy thoughts. means it'll be over so soon that i'll forget about it in no time and be suprised that this thought even crossed my mind.
blog. my only medium to practise english. love it.
til then..
chaoz~
and bout the crappy mood. it gets over fast. how??for me, i stuff headphone in my ears, loud music (not soft volumes that i usually set to blend with the noise around me just so i can concentrate). loud ones which are just enough to cover up my crappy thoughts. then, a cup of Chinese tea, only for myself (not like the usual which i make for everyone else), and homework. ya. all things to occupy me just to get over with the crappy mood. and after its over, blog. and there it is, satisfaction=] and ok, this is not one of the stuffs that remains after so many years. in fact, it is developed only in recent years. to deal with the whole growing up complication.
hrm.. have i gone to be a loser after all these years?a certain person always make me feel like one. but no matter. its just crappy thoughts. means it'll be over so soon that i'll forget about it in no time and be suprised that this thought even crossed my mind.
blog. my only medium to practise english. love it.
til then..
chaoz~
