prior exam

Hi, i shouldn't be here at all. Why? I'm having two final papers in two consecutive days tomorrow and the day after. Yes, I'm am studying. Notes and tutorials are piling in front of me just this very moment.

So why am I here? Engineering, as much as i like it and as much as i've already chosen it. Facing the exams always gives me second thoughts about it. Being buried in equations and very tough syllabus, which might sound as much as alien language to any normal human being, its really hard to stay positive about this particular career path that i've chosen at the age 19.

And always at this kinda timing, regrets of not choosing the OTHER path will flood my mind. Yep, the OTHER path, namely architecture. I would dream of going back to age 19 and take up architecture instead of engineering. I would dream of building models with cardboards instead of hacking my brain on equations and theories. I would imagine that I'll be so good at sketching that I can design my future dream home and create many many dream homes for people to live in. And it left me utterly lost at what I'm doing with seemingly pointless equations in engineering.

Sigh. I know it wouldn't be easy either if I have indeed chosen to study architecture. The assignments might be 10 times stressful than the ones i'm having now. Also, I might also turn out to dislike architecture in the middle of it. But, at the bottom line, I could picture myself designing and drawing for the sake of being able to create a pretty dream house one day. With engineering, honestly, i'm lost at what i'm at able to create one day. a circuit board? a system?

Seriously, this thought pop up every single time when i'm facing exams. whether that i've chosen my path wrongly. And the fact that i'm already completing my 3rd year, on the way to do my final, has as well concluded the fact that i have to be an engineer.

Stressful moment induce stressful thoughts. see? i need to find a plan so that I can achieve what i want as an engineer as well.

Okay. Back to studies. two more days!!