harsh life

this is gonna be a harsh post, to myself. this week, week 9, busiest week ever. I built a RUBE GOLDBERG MACHINE and a NOOB NEWSPAPER BRIDGE this week. PLUS several quizzes and lab test and codings and studying and, complicated issues. ya, tough week indeed.  

given this kinda work load, it really had tested my stress level to near maximum. and THIS is where the testing of your MENTALITY POWER comes in. because, when you are stress, you handle everything so much worse than usual, and every obstacle you encounter could just be your breaking point. 

ya, everything practically goes very very wrong when you are stress. I ALMOST lost my phone. I ALREADY lost my pen drive. even luck don't side with me with my machine. screwed the lectures. screwed the tutorials and weekly assignments. SCREWED THE FREAKING ELECTRICAL LAB PRACTICES!!! lost temper with my friends. cried three times this week. and I think I screwed up my teaching too. AND. it's a viscous cycle. it cause me to quarrel with my sis, twice. its unneeded. really. AND, there goes my breaking point. ==  

so. life, harsh indeed right? just when you try very very hard to control and handle everything, a small situation occurred and tipped off everything you've been trying to do and ruined every single thing. 

ya, I'm a year one student. this kinda stress level SHOULD be nothing compared to the future years that I'll eventually face. I THOUGHT I'm better than this. apparently I'm not.  

so, what to do? care less I guess. can't handle too much expectations. and also, increase my ULTIMATE LIMIT STATE. it's sort of the same thing right? make sure my mind don't yield or buckle during worst case scenario. BIG people don't get affected by small things!! 

something harsh, something sad: 没妈的孩子，像根草。ya, it's very true, people. pls, love your mums.  

grass is still strong. flexible, and very strong. even if i'm a mango flavour grass. lol. I will survive. i will find the right path for me. 

可遇不可求的人、事、物，不能强求。耐心。 

til then.  

chaoz~ 

p/s: despite everything, I believe things WILL change for the better, eventually. pls believe that too, ok?