整理

time to clean the dust gathered on my blog skin. ya i've been missing because holidays is here. and yes, there's no stopping the laze from setting in. ahaha.

anyways, been under the weather for the last two days, which makes me wanna laze even more. I'm so tired to do anything even though my to-do list is still unchecked. 

so this is what i felt when holidays approached. from anticipation, to disappointment, to submittal, to closure (when the trip got cancelled). and when the holidays arrived, I went from feeling relieved (having freed from studies at last ), to feeling emo (always happen when I suddenly have nothing to do), to acceptance, then adaption.

I don't know what I want to express. but you know? recently I'm feeling like I just let things slide. I used to be a nosy noisy person looking for trouble. always persisting and digging into the things that i disagree with. stubborn, you could say. but now, I just let things slide. i just see less importance. just less and less. is that growing up? is that upgrading my EQ. or is that submittal to the circumstances. 

some things, I'm really really uncomfortable with. I wanted to confront them, but there are always uncertainties and buts. and so I decided to let it be for a while and put more thought on it afterwards. and then, I grew comfortable with it. I grew comfortable with the things that I don't like that caused me distress. is it temporary forgetfulness that caused me to not be bothered anymore? or is it that I really grew out of it and became okay with it just by just passing time. it scares me sometimes how I could be comfortable with things just so easily. it makes me think if i should stay bothered and confront it when I had the chance then.

一样的心态，对什么样的事情，应该都会有一样的结果。所以，是我心态的问题，还是。本就是如此。

maybe. some things become less important because we need to shift our focus onto the ones which are more important. maybe, that's what I have to figure out. at this stage, this time, what are the important things? those which truly matter.

okay. I know now. when you find yourself putting less importance on the things that you used to emphasize on, rejoice. don't dwell on it and move on to the ones that still bother and still matter to you. it's your feelings telling you that you should move on.

lol. takes me two hours to think this through. hmm. okay. I'm fine now ^^

til then.

ciao