gonna be a FYP sudent

Its week 12! Again. Only one year away from being a engineering bachelor holder. A year from being part of the working world. BUT, don't want to elaborate too much on that just yet. I'm still NOT READY @@ When its time, its time.

Anyways, the fogs obscuring my future has cleared up a little bit. I, at least know, what sorta FYP projects that I might be interested in. I also know what I should do for preparation for the future. I'm also no longer lost and afraid of the future. Nervous, but much better.

Yay! to the path that is getting clearer. and yay to the upcoming holidays. i'm not gonna do a single academic related thing during this coming month. i'm shoooo sick of studying, although comparatively, the schedule for this semester is much looser as compared to the previous one (No bloody robot to build this semester).

On the other hand, i have gotten so much lazier this semester. Shooo lazyyyy to even catch up with the lectures. Two of the units i have only 40% or less knowledge, and its already the last week of the semester @@

Surprisingly, the week 12 of this semester is not a stressful one. Yes i have a lab quiz and a last assignment to submit, but the quiz is a open book test and the assignment is not due until Friday. And most of the lectures are pretty much finished or cancelled.

Sometimes I dislike Monash so much i don't know if i would like to leave my student life sooner or later. I'm hoping that doing my FYP project would be a more pleasant experience than mundane studies. Fingers crossed!

rage

"why u gonna be so rude? don't you know i'm human too? " lyrics from Rude by Magic! sang over and over again by le dear. oddly, its just the right phrase for the day. 

Yes, i've brought it upon myself. People taking me for granted and tease and mock and make fun of and criticize me and everything i love/hate. Just one step away from stomping all over the little pride i have left with cruelty and little kindness.

But, yes. i brought it upon myself. I thought i am all mighty in handling snide remarks. Sometimes, i just thought, whats so bad about giving people a little laugh? That's not too bad, i say. Its still okay. I wont let that get to me. Its just a laugh. I really do lots of stupid stuff, i understand why people laugh at me this way.

I have tolerance, yes, rather HIGH tolerance. i have patience, yes, rather GOOD patience. but, i have a BOILING POINT LIKE JUST EVERY FREAKING PERSON IN THIS WORLD. maybe excluding the monks. and priests. and all the god-like saints. but, i'm still human. and I just reached mine!

maybe i'm just not so big hearted as i thought. maybe i should stop letting little 'jokes' of people slide. maybe i should learn to fight back. you know what? that's not a healthy gathering at all. and one day all the nice people are going to stop being nice because of people like you. and i wonder why is the world such a shitty place.

shit just got real.

Different

There are just too many different people in the world. The world is in chaos because of this. Different character. Different priorities. Different language. Even in the same language, there's still different ways of speaking it. Different interest. Different frequency. Different perspective. Different paradigm. Different beliefs. Which add up to, different worlds. The more we grow, the more we differ? maybe engineers are aliens.

But they say, essentially humans are the same. Maybe someday i can learn to connect with just everybody.

Project I

ello. the title project 'I' is a project for self improvement. yesh imma so determined!!

a recent event at home is a catalyst to cause this. meh i'm sick being so bothered whenever you just decide to step all over me like i'm a piece of useless trash. whatever. i have also done hating. and imma going to do things my own way. whatever.

anyways. The first part of project 'I' is to do daily exercise. As in DAILY. lol. i've been slacking and always tend to take a break for on or two days after i've done exercise. Planking, swimming, rope jumping, running, yoga. I should add more to the list!! Second, i'm investing another large sum to extend my facial treatment package. Imma lady! I should pamper and take care of my skin. I should also spend some to restock on my facial products.  Next is English. I need to read more to improve my English. Cashflow Quadrant is a nice book. Oh, and i have not spent my RM250 book vouchers. Fourth is changing my bad habits, like slouching, mumbling, candy crushing, and well, many other things. Last but not least, imma gonna take a month of cooking lessons!! from none other than the Shifu Auntie May i have right at home! this coming semester break? imma gonna be her cooking apprentice. FOR A MONTH. lol.

yep, right now, facial, health, food and skills are the most important investments i have to make. Right. Now.

gone past that

gone past that. not complaining. not sulking. not looking back.

time to buck up and move forward. FORWARDDD. presentation. report. speak clear and concise. read. stand straight. sit up straight. laugh. enjoy. exercise. be happy. be awesome. fit and awesome =x 

imma pro at what i do. i'm pretty smart.  i have a life time to fix on what i'm lacking of. i have tonnes to learn. learn. 

gone past that. ciao.

Internship #throwback

Gosh i found this in my drafts and wonder why I didn't post it up? Its pretty informative and intersting. so well, posting it now wouldn't be too late ^^

P/s: this is actually written some time during December 2013.

Few things about my internship:

1. I need not join internship this semester, since I haven't completed my 3rd year. this internship is completely vonluntery and I only joined since I've known my mentor from the elp.

2. ServerPark is an IT company. monash ecse course has nothing to do with IT. I thought I should train up my programming by joining an internship in my weakest field.

3. I am fully aware of how difficult it is. I thought I should train myself and add value to my future career.

BUT. the workload I have is OVERWHELMING. OVER. WHELMING. Two weeks has passed. and it felt like a second. omg I'm so busy everyday I barely feel time passed. Work pile after work pile after work there's no end to it at all. No end until another 10 weeks anyways. Ya, I definitely feel like I have put myself in a lot of trouble, when I could have just enjoy a three month long summer holidays!! And the pay is hardly enough to cover petrol and lunch. And my mentor just congratulate me for handling four person's workload at one time -.-

Yep, the research and work I did are definitely interesting and challenging. but it would be so much easier if I am a little better at computing @@ Gosh, sometimes I feel like a dumb! And of course a little extra guideline will be helpful. and maybe looser datelines? what use is it when your mentor tells you that you can go home and drop by at office WHENEVER YOU LIKE, when he gives you one week's worth workload in one day!!! I go to work everyday from 8 to 5. that's how useful it is.

One consolation prize. the office is freaking beautiful!! it's one of YTL's project. and I have certainly never seen a GREENER building than this one in Malaysia. Seriously, this kinda building is exactly the reason I love architecture.

Anyways, here are some pictures taken at the office building. I almost love everything about it, except its location. it's at Sentul, which is somewhere near KTM terminal and KLpac already wtf.

I love the irregular window panels. And the wooden floorings. And the greeneries on the ground and on the wall. 

And the pond with sparkling, rippling clear water with pretty smooths stones in it. 

And the cosy sitting spot right in the middle of the greeneries and the pond. I could see foreign office ladies having picnic there every day!! I wanna try that too!

And it's quite close to publika. anyone nearby can swing by to pick me up and grab a lunch together?^^

Ya, so amid the stressful workload, a trip to the toilet is the only refreshing moment, where I could enjoy a little bit of pretty scenaries, or stalk whoever is coming up the transparent elevator. heh. otherwise, I'm probably stuck in the office for the rest of the holidays.

but, hey! I'm 21 going to be 22. time to take on some serious responsibility, no? and, this anti social thing is getting more serious in every passing second. thanks to having to face the computer all the time. gahhh I'm a hopeless nerd.

colours

Lately, a little more colours are coming back into my life. good thing, really. and about time. I've been in this sorta-depression for a few months until very recently.

So, what changes, recently? a few outings. yep, one outing won't do the job. Few of them will. Met up with some precious people in life. Had some deep conversations and fun times. Its nice to notice that they truly care about me. I can see, hear and feel the warmth in my heart. And hey, my instagram came back to life. that makes me happy too i guess ^^

On a side note, its getting tougher to organize a proper dinner event with the group. Makes me wonder if we are diverging even more. Also, i should tune down my temper. Little things are getting on my nerves and i am just so mad with so many people. But no, i'm not the raging kinda person, more of the sulking type, maybe. Anyhow, its bad for me and my skin and my health. Should have better anger management.

Anyhow, i'm treating each gathering like a final last one. People just fly all over the world or just diverge to opposite poles its so hard to get the same group of people back together. So, ya, treat the gatherings like its the last one we'll ever have and treasure the moments, especially with the group of friends i really enjoy spending time with.

Time. which brings me to another point. Procrastination is getting out of hand. Seems like I am still behind time this semester even though i have no tuition classes to teach during the weekdays. At least i'm not tired all the time, but i think i chill too much. which makes me guilty since i actually have tonnes of work to do, if you read the previous post.

so okay, i shall stop procrastinating!