Internship #throwback

Gosh i found this in my drafts and wonder why I didn't post it up? Its pretty informative and intersting. so well, posting it now wouldn't be too late ^^

P/s: this is actually written some time during December 2013.

Few things about my internship:

1. I need not join internship this semester, since I haven't completed my 3rd year. this internship is completely vonluntery and I only joined since I've known my mentor from the elp.

2. ServerPark is an IT company. monash ecse course has nothing to do with IT. I thought I should train up my programming by joining an internship in my weakest field.

3. I am fully aware of how difficult it is. I thought I should train myself and add value to my future career.

BUT. the workload I have is OVERWHELMING. OVER. WHELMING. Two weeks has passed. and it felt like a second. omg I'm so busy everyday I barely feel time passed. Work pile after work pile after work there's no end to it at all. No end until another 10 weeks anyways. Ya, I definitely feel like I have put myself in a lot of trouble, when I could have just enjoy a three month long summer holidays!! And the pay is hardly enough to cover petrol and lunch. And my mentor just congratulate me for handling four person's workload at one time -.-

Yep, the research and work I did are definitely interesting and challenging. but it would be so much easier if I am a little better at computing @@ Gosh, sometimes I feel like a dumb! And of course a little extra guideline will be helpful. and maybe looser datelines? what use is it when your mentor tells you that you can go home and drop by at office WHENEVER YOU LIKE, when he gives you one week's worth workload in one day!!! I go to work everyday from 8 to 5. that's how useful it is.

One consolation prize. the office is freaking beautiful!! it's one of YTL's project. and I have certainly never seen a GREENER building than this one in Malaysia. Seriously, this kinda building is exactly the reason I love architecture.

Anyways, here are some pictures taken at the office building. I almost love everything about it, except its location. it's at Sentul, which is somewhere near KTM terminal and KLpac already wtf.

I love the irregular window panels. And the wooden floorings. And the greeneries on the ground and on the wall. 

And the pond with sparkling, rippling clear water with pretty smooths stones in it. 

And the cosy sitting spot right in the middle of the greeneries and the pond. I could see foreign office ladies having picnic there every day!! I wanna try that too!

And it's quite close to publika. anyone nearby can swing by to pick me up and grab a lunch together?^^

Ya, so amid the stressful workload, a trip to the toilet is the only refreshing moment, where I could enjoy a little bit of pretty scenaries, or stalk whoever is coming up the transparent elevator. heh. otherwise, I'm probably stuck in the office for the rest of the holidays.

but, hey! I'm 21 going to be 22. time to take on some serious responsibility, no? and, this anti social thing is getting more serious in every passing second. thanks to having to face the computer all the time. gahhh I'm a hopeless nerd.

colours

Lately, a little more colours are coming back into my life. good thing, really. and about time. I've been in this sorta-depression for a few months until very recently.

So, what changes, recently? a few outings. yep, one outing won't do the job. Few of them will. Met up with some precious people in life. Had some deep conversations and fun times. Its nice to notice that they truly care about me. I can see, hear and feel the warmth in my heart. And hey, my instagram came back to life. that makes me happy too i guess ^^

On a side note, its getting tougher to organize a proper dinner event with the group. Makes me wonder if we are diverging even more. Also, i should tune down my temper. Little things are getting on my nerves and i am just so mad with so many people. But no, i'm not the raging kinda person, more of the sulking type, maybe. Anyhow, its bad for me and my skin and my health. Should have better anger management.

Anyhow, i'm treating each gathering like a final last one. People just fly all over the world or just diverge to opposite poles its so hard to get the same group of people back together. So, ya, treat the gatherings like its the last one we'll ever have and treasure the moments, especially with the group of friends i really enjoy spending time with.

Time. which brings me to another point. Procrastination is getting out of hand. Seems like I am still behind time this semester even though i have no tuition classes to teach during the weekdays. At least i'm not tired all the time, but i think i chill too much. which makes me guilty since i actually have tonnes of work to do, if you read the previous post.

so okay, i shall stop procrastinating!

awesome

do you know what would be awesome?

figure skating is awesome. twirling on ice. full of grace and elegance. pretty sparkling dress. twirling and twirling and the whole world watches you in awe.

and ballet dancing. flexibility. again full of grace and elegance. dancing to beautiful contemporary music. having full control of your body. and always looking so pretty.

and of course learning magic in Hogwarts is awesome. being good at social with new people is awesome. being good at public speaking is awesome. being good at kung fu and muay thai is awesome. being good t sports.

and of course, all the things above are things which i cannot do in life. so far. for some reason, i have very serious hands legs dis-coordination, and i should already compliment myself for being able to walk in a straight line. i simply CANNOT dance. i've tried. i can't. i have no sense of rhythm, and i lose balance when one of my feet is off the ground.

the funny thing was, i actually did tried ballet when i was a kid. but i hated it so much, i cried at every lesson. the teacher used to force me to stretch and stretch my legs it hurts so much. And now how i wished that i had endured the pain and completed my ballet lessons to be able to do those awesome poses.

Social. its weird, as its stated in my horoscope that Pieces should be good at social with people. But i'm more of an antisocial than the opposite. I can social, but i have to FORCE myself to. Which i would feel awkward, nervous, stressful, and frustrated. Very very rare, will there be an occasion where i could enjoy socialing with others.

and so the path towards awesomeness? if only i could turn time around, i will accomplish each and every one of the things stated above. but now? it not too late. no. but its a bit tougher. there's too many complicated and half useless stuff that gets in the way. but yes, now i could substitute ballet dancing and figure skating with yoga (if only i could touch my toes without bending my knees!).

and the public speaking thingy. sigh. guess it'll take much longer to train to be a natural speaker (if only i could do that when i'm young and i don't have to face this difficulty whatsoever). and guess what? i have an upcoming presentation which worth TWENTY FREAKING PERCENT of the unit. this is it. my best presentation. it MUST be the best, and no less. there, a good start, right?

and if someone asks me: what's my childhood dream? figure skating.

stand up and face the world

okay. i'm ashamed of myself. dwell too much into the unnecessary stuff. procrastination. inactivity. being moody. so action starts today!

anyways. HIMYM is over. OVERRRRRR. my favourite american comedy drama series is finished. nine seasons. watched it all. and no more to look forward to!!! lets mourn for a sec. Also, i have finish watching "you who came from the star". Also another loss. its just too long since they have a decent korean drama worth watching. and running man! i've watched all the episodes. and can only wait miserably for a new one to be released every other week. and last but not least, CANDY CRUSH. i've completed all the levels available as well -.- what am I gonna do when i'm drowsing off in the classroom from now eh? (guess i can achieve 3 stars for all? =x)

There it is. All my favourite things. all gone at once. zzz and the new ones just ain't as good as the usual old ones. i have no more hobbies. guess now is the best time to start sth new eh??

there's one good progress though. i' ve started doing exercise heh. on a daily basis. for like half an hour each day. and since i have written down this in black and white, i'll just have to keep by this new healthy habit on a long term basis.

other things i ought to do? read tweets. and whatsapp. and instagram. or i'll just disappear from my friends' lives. then, there's the art thing. stopping completely is a waste of my talent. heh. yep i have a lil bit of talent in arts and i should put them to good use. and there's the IEM thingy. imma event manager muahahaha i should make good use to that. and i should learn cooking. its like another form of art and i would be good at it with just lil practice right? and i should practice my english consciously. speaking and writing. its degrading, very badly.

and and i think i have improved in programming. and and i think i should slowly figure out my future. and and i should plan a trip. with whoever. i'm losing out a bit too much lately. and and i should love more. okay. nth much to do with the title. but. its good advice for myself for now.

and and and and. give more.

til then. ciao

Screw it

Hi all. No i'm not all emo and depressed again. As long as i'm busy, i'm okay. But, there's still part of me that is feeling all demotivated and restless. Gah. how should i deal with it how??

The thing is. i'm dealing with a lot of stuff which i'm not good at at this point of time. Inferiority, frustration, restlessness. Patience, i tell myself over and over again. Give time time. Baby step. Continue dealing with it and it'll get better. It WILL get better.

And so. kinda low in morality now. and so. i think if i should screw it for awhile and do some of my favourite distractions. Like read Harry Potter again, for the umpteenth time. or read some manga. or draw some random shit. or even just follow a really really nice drama (any recommendations?).

and even the freaking air is smelly. i want to take a deep breath and calm down. and all i get is the smell of the stupid haze which makes my throat sore and makes me want to choke!

zzz. suffocating! life. is. suffocating. sometimes. just like the haze.

Before and After Internship

As you guys might always caught me blabbering about my summer internship, it is an internship like no other. So, before and after the internship, what differences have it made to me?

Let's talk about the basics first. After the internship, i could type faster, my writing skills is slightly better (i guess?), my Google skills went from noob to superb (seriously!), a whole lot of knowledge about IT and i've definitely know a lot more about the working world.

My perspective towards engineering after internship? Down the drain! Sigh. No wonder, for years and years i heard friends and relatives from here and there divert from the path of engineering after they got their degree. No wonder, even my previous boss from TTC, tried hard (but failed) to stop me from studying engineering that time. He even proposed that I study Finance. Now i see why. We are all gonna be bankers anyways!

Lol. Of course i would not make my conclusion so fast. But its like comprehension has finally dawned upon me. And I finally get to understand why people say those things about engineering. Nevertheless, when all has become null, I'm still thankful that Engineering taught me how to be resourceful, how to work under stress, and how to be an efficient worker. But, what would be my path down the road? No idea.

One and a half more years to go. time is flying fast! hwaiting!

写

最近没有写字了？忙只是借口。逃避才是真的。

写！写下来。一定要写下来。再不发泄，我真的会变忧郁了。就算一切化为无的时候，只要写下来，头脑才可以清醒。写下来，就是勇于面对自己的情绪。写了下来，才能继续前进。写下来，认清自己，认真的认识自己。然后，心里自然会有答案。

写给谁看都好，写。