awesome

do you know what would be awesome?

figure skating is awesome. twirling on ice. full of grace and elegance. pretty sparkling dress. twirling and twirling and the whole world watches you in awe.

and ballet dancing. flexibility. again full of grace and elegance. dancing to beautiful contemporary music. having full control of your body. and always looking so pretty.

and of course learning magic in Hogwarts is awesome. being good at social with new people is awesome. being good at public speaking is awesome. being good at kung fu and muay thai is awesome. being good t sports.

and of course, all the things above are things which i cannot do in life. so far. for some reason, i have very serious hands legs dis-coordination, and i should already compliment myself for being able to walk in a straight line. i simply CANNOT dance. i've tried. i can't. i have no sense of rhythm, and i lose balance when one of my feet is off the ground.

the funny thing was, i actually did tried ballet when i was a kid. but i hated it so much, i cried at every lesson. the teacher used to force me to stretch and stretch my legs it hurts so much. And now how i wished that i had endured the pain and completed my ballet lessons to be able to do those awesome poses.

Social. its weird, as its stated in my horoscope that Pieces should be good at social with people. But i'm more of an antisocial than the opposite. I can social, but i have to FORCE myself to. Which i would feel awkward, nervous, stressful, and frustrated. Very very rare, will there be an occasion where i could enjoy socialing with others.

and so the path towards awesomeness? if only i could turn time around, i will accomplish each and every one of the things stated above. but now? it not too late. no. but its a bit tougher. there's too many complicated and half useless stuff that gets in the way. but yes, now i could substitute ballet dancing and figure skating with yoga (if only i could touch my toes without bending my knees!).

and the public speaking thingy. sigh. guess it'll take much longer to train to be a natural speaker (if only i could do that when i'm young and i don't have to face this difficulty whatsoever). and guess what? i have an upcoming presentation which worth TWENTY FREAKING PERCENT of the unit. this is it. my best presentation. it MUST be the best, and no less. there, a good start, right?

and if someone asks me: what's my childhood dream? figure skating.