improvement needed

guess what?i've found my new hobby. teaching!!lol...not really because of the add maths larh. mostly because of all the adorable students. its like being back at choir and pmo again. i don't know what's the reason, but i always feel more comfortable mixing with younger juniors, just any younger juniors, compare with friends of the same age and seniors. is it because of ego or something?? but then, i still don't really like small kids.ironic huh. teaching just makes me feel better always. lift my mood a lot. so should i just change my pathway from engineering to teaching or lecturing??lol...seems like a good idea.

anyway, i bloody thank ttc la. thank to teaching english lessons, my english speaking improved a lot. i did a small tiny presentation in english in class few days ago and found that i actually sound ok. not that fluent but at least quite presentable. my english i mean. then after i think back i recall i've had a quite a lot of practice weekly at ttc already. so, lucky me=]

and, i bloody thank ttc coz they're so many awesome friends who are sooo kind to help me study further maths. and all the books and resources and the super photocopy machine. love them all, haha. anyway, i felt that i'm quite a failure these days. its been two weeks of my 'new college life' but i think my progress in everything is not that much and too slow. just think that when my friends help or care for me, is it because they so kind or have i actually really earned such good friendship? and when they don't remember me is it because i am not a good person and people don't even want to know me.just felt like i'm not a good enough person. not a good friend. i badly want to be that friend where people will want my presence. i don't want to be just the person who has to ask for help all the time. i wanna be a good person.

so, since new year is over, and ching ming is tomorrow. i shall have a ching ming resolution.
i will be a good and caring friend=]

by the way. i'm talking to much these days. showing too much i mean. have to keep some useless thoughts to myself. have to shut up. have to figure out my own things. have to solve my own problems. have to GROW UP.

jpa interview is next wednesday. good luck everyone=]


chaoz~