mango vs banana

when a mango talks to bananas, there will always have some misunderstanding.

here's an example of a conversation between a mango and bananas. EPIC!!

me: (trying to write presentation script) ehh, how to say 方便 in english ar??
banana 1: fang bian? room.
banana 2: behind.

*pause*

me: HUH???
banana 1: room la. room is...oh ya. room is fang2 jian1 horh?
me: huh???房间? i say 方便 larhh. then why is it 'behind'??
banana 2: erm. fang bian ma. behind lo.
me: errrr. behind is 后面la
banana 2: oh ya horh!!sounds the same.

banana 1: (still trying to help) i know! fang bian is put aside.
me: what?????
banana 1: (reconsidering answer) fang bian fang bian...oh ya, that is fang4 yi4 bian1 horh??
me: 放一边??

me: (gave up, ask third party)what is 方便??
ch: convenient la..
banana 1 and 2 : oh ya horhhhh.......

conclusion: bananas aren't the best dictionary for a mango =D

mango

i have an inspiration, indeed. after weeks racking my brain on how should i include secret codes, or how should i put the 'do not read aloud' sign in my blog post, just so my blog can be a little more private, the OBVIOUS solution came to me today. how have i not thought about it earlier??? the solution is..... type in CHINESE!! wahaha. simple yet perfect. more than half on my uni friends can't read or write Chinese, this would work well. imma genius. =D

but. I'm not that bad la. and I'm more comfortable typing in English. I'll just put in few sentences in Chinese.lol.

ya. mango. a term my friends came out with, which more or less summarise who and how i am. lol. I've spend years writing and blogging about how typical Chinese educated i am, how Chinese i act, how Chinese i live, and never encounter one simple term that summarise it all. MANGO. so lame yet so true. i'm proud and at the same time frustrated to be such a mango. typical mango quality: hardworking, self-motivated, responsible, closed minded?, traditional, kia su, honest...i dunno, there's pros and cons. all i know is, to be an engineer, a mango certainly couldn't work, at least its not enough to excel la. and i don't even know if i want to excel or not. oops.

何去何从??? once again, i'm lost. now that i'm living again, i'm encountering countless, different, unique human characters every single day. some which i can never understand, some i don't like, and some that i've hoped for all my life that i would have. lol. at this age, pre-adult age, trying to change and grow and go for the better. but, at the same time, everything is contradicting each other. my values and others, others values and my family's. its not like i have a sensei to ask for answers everytime this happens. its always me myself trying to figure out, stuck in between, and finally let it pass as if its nothing. there's always too many limitations. sometimes, i really really want to delete my whole personality, CHOOSE the character i want, and reset the whole thing all over again.

but then, here i am, still. slightly retarded, always too revealing, and easily scammed. lol. the best prey for everyone. haih. FACADE. how long have i been working on it? ever since i've encountered this term. damn phhhaaaaiil...

hmmm. but at least, as a mango, i'll always have the heart to continue to work for what i want. to have faith. to never give up. to believe.

when everything suddenly slows down, thoughts from nowhere came crashing into my mind. blog is where i unbottle it, arrange and reorganize it, so it'll be empty again to do other stuff.

far future always gives me the creeps. while near future always keep me busy from thinking about it.

step by step. one step at a time. taking baby steps. that's what i'll do for now =]

til then.

chaoz~

If I Die Young Taiping

haha. what a title. so ya. if i die young. finally listened to this song. its a beautiful song, and sort-of-some-how-i-don't-really-know-why turned out as our 'group's ' song. haha. so its my favourite song for now, without the 'taiping', of course.

since i know my ADORABLE friends are reading this blog, i'll just as well post about them. =p
so, our little group. consist of people of all different kinds, but united in two different ways: to-be-engineers and bananas ( majority) . or maybe half bananas. lol. so interpreted by this manner, I've ended up as the precious mango species, being yellow at the outside and the inside. wahaha.

so, people in our group. lively as ever. especially the 2 scammers. one Abu Bakar from the forest and one lead singer from if-i-die-young-taiping-band. they are... PRO like hell. the two backgrounds i mentioned are those i've actually believe in for weeks. sadly. i don't even wanna believe a single word they'd say anymore. and the scamming habit is actually spreading among our group, which is bad. coz it means i have to improve my skills in detecting them.

anyways, our first trip together will be 'broga hill trip to taiping' this Friday. i have no idea why everything relates to taiping. lol. anyhow, it'll be exciting as we plan to climb the hill at dawn, in the dark. hrm. too bad, there's no rabbit sate for later (there's a rabbit farm which is rumored to sell rabbit sate where you can eat the sate and play with the rabbits at the same time some where near broga hill apparently).

ya. so life now is basically revolving around studying, assignments, and of course our fellow 'if i die young taiping' crew mates. not much, but I've haven't really started joining any activities in uni or anything, and have stopped teaching at ttc since uni started. pretty interesting already, though there's of course more time to spare. so, had came face to face with my biggest obstacle again. public speaking. haih. red. this is EXACTLY what i'm talking about. I'm so totally beaten and disheartened by it. if things don't get better, i'll surely get stressed out again. hrm. solution? toastmaster i think. as proposed by both my sis and Prof. Matthew. people like me really need it, i think. haih.

anyways, life's good. when i say its good, i mean, really awesome. =D seriously. everything is so great and fine and cool and happy. i feel like, I'm back in.... form 3 again. or form 4 and 5. those are the happy days of my high school life. I've finally start to open up again, i think.

hrm. looks like I've come from a long way since then. this year, 2011, seems like a very long year. its only September but i feel like its been for ages. mostly because it consists of 3 stages, from a levels, to long holidays, to my first semester of university. things have changed and progressed so much i couldn't really catch up to it. no matter, things have gone for the better, and things are going in my way for once =D.

owh. I'll not blog until mid term holidays. i can so foresee that already. given TONNES of assignments to complete by next Friday. not exaggerating either. I'm so so dead if i cant finish them on time.

hrm. life's busy. and full. good news for me. less time thinking, more time working. enjoying it =D


til then.

chaoz~

Sing A Happy Song =D

woohoo..recently life is in a happy tone..need to get used to all these great stuff, really. since when do i feel such happiness to just attend daily classes?? i actually go to uni for the purpose of meeting friends instead of just to study..this emphasize how really lifeless a levels is. i mean, its normal to feel happy going to school right? after all, school life is like one of the best moments in life. its NORMAL to feel good just going to classes. finally, i feel like i'm back to my high school self, my normal self.. its weird how much disconnected i feel after only one and a half years of shittiness to be back to old self. well, life in monash is awesome anyways, so i'll get used to all the great stuff soon enough. =D

and ya. my BELOVED uni friends found out about this blog. screw Google =.= argh. this means, i can't be THAT frank in blog any more. how embarrassing it is for them to find out about 'banana-cified'. LOL. haha. but seriously, how much can i hide from the way i blog??hrm.. a challenge then. maybe i should try secret codes or something..wahaha.

okay. back to topic. life is awesome yet apparently not all people in monash are adorable like my friends. haha. i meant, they are really some JERKS in monash!!referring to the B people again. hmph!! how much trouble they've caused me!!those thick-faced-yet-tin-kosong BASTARDS!!! omg. can't believe people like them do exist man..how can they live to themselves??argh. no more elaboration here or it'll spoil my blogging mojo.

anyways, my iPad is seriously causing a problem these days. it distracts not only me, but my fellow friends too!! soooo many people are blaming me for it.. argh well. can't blame them for that coz i myself is infected by the 'iPad virus' too. hmph. seriously, strict self discipline is needed for owning an iPad as awesome as mine. hee.

oh. and the so-called-fun-building-a-hospital-project i mentioned last post??turn out to be nothing but useless and stressful work!!argh. now i soooo HATE engineering profession. there's endless assignments. literally ENDLESS. not to mention damn annoying, with all the very close datelines and many stupid criteria to follow while doing the assignment. ishh,,

so, uni life. LOVE IT. despite the annoying people and subject. wahaha. but things are gonna start to get busy and even stressful. there's datelines to be meet, all sorts of tests, quizzes, assignments and self-revision to be done. and i can say the same for all my friends in my batch. almost everyone had started uni by now, be it here or overseas, all working hard to prepare for the future..its like WOW. finally we're going out there too.. i wonder what it will be like when all of us start to work, get married, have a family, grow old and all. it'll be like a sight of no other. a cycle that has repeated itself over a zillion times yet still a miracle..touching right?haha. i don't know. its just like friends are now scattered all over the place but i know we're bound to bump into each other again one fine day =D

anyways, the inspiration of the post title this time comes from the 'smurf' movie. haha. cute yet meaningful i think. its a nice movie =D

i've noticed that i've go more for =D than =] this days.. haha..means my smile is getting bigger!!maybe i'll need even bigger smile like XD or XXD for the future days. hee =D


til then.

chaoz~

banana-cified

oh yeah~~enjoying life now..i'm a university student man~ call me mahasiswi!!pro lerh..haha..anyway, after 3 weeks plus, FINALLY got into the mood, i'm enjoying lessons, break time, hanging around doing nothing and doing endless assignments and quizs and tests. seriously, they come one after another..no end to it until the semester ends i guess.

anyway, i've met some cool friends!! we have like formed some sort of gang now..haha..i finally have sit-at-the-back-of-lecture-hall-girl-friends now!!so cool!!and some pretty nice guy friends too. BUT. they all don't speak Mandarin. oops. so for me its like bye bye to Chinese speaking, and welcome banana world. haha. i'm turning into a banana now!! its kinda a challenge for me. my English is not THAT fluent. once they started to talk fast, i'm like lost for a while and become quiet. haha.. its some good training for me though.

monash engineering course is seriously like a banana land. haha. i HARDLY find any mandarin speaking people. in my batch i mean. i've met quite a few from semester 2 seniors in PSA classes. they're very nice too =D but in my batch, seriously. out of like 200 students, only 20 sth or so are girls, half of them are international students, half of the half are bananas. so the rest..hmm..u can count larh.. but even so, banana land is not bad at all either..i enjoy the conversations more than ever.. haha..their way of speaking and expressing with slangs and metaphors often awe me. lol. pai seh acting jakun here. after all, i'm the most chinese chinese you can find..so falling into banana land is like getting into wonderland!! haha..a little exaggeration here.

and. there's this thing. engineering is seriously a very GUYISH course. so technical and scientific and all. so for girls, think very very seriously before going for engineering course. if you hate the subjects,you'll hate whatever there is in engineering. and oyou can't survive in this manly guyish course. haha..hopefully i'll stay girly enough though. LOL.

yep. life's good. ipad's good =D . hopefully all friends and people are doing well too all over the world, where ever you are. take care, people. and friends, let's meet in... banana land???haha!

til then. chaoz~

so...uni life indeed...

okay. the first week of my university life has passed. so..how was it??hmm. i can say its a fresh start indeed. for the first time, going to some place with no familiar faces, no friends at the first day whatsoever. indeed, finally a chance to set up a whole new image, giving first impressions, coping culture shock..a whole new start. a perfect place to train up my 'red ness' indeed..

so how i was doing?hmmm..not that well..not that i suck or something..just this stuff can't really be rushed you know..first of all, the week starts with lectures. as in real lectures held in a big auditorium, with lights dim, and slide shows and all. ya, lecture halls ain't the best place to interact. you just sit there and listen, say hi to your neighbour beside you, after lectures, off you go to respective destinations. plus, i don't really like to sit at the front in the lecture hall, which means i actually sit among the guys, and not the girls, who sits right at the front taking down notes. oops.

next, there's this weird timetable, each people set their own timetable, chooses their own subjects. and so most probably you'll be in different classes all together for each tutorial and laboratory classes with each other..tutorial is a better place to make friends, and most of them starts in the second week. hmm..seems that i'm doing not too bad in the first week, the second week should probably be better??

so, i had make the effort to make friends okay..haha..i've actually met quite many people and talked to them. too bad all the faces are different in every class, so i haven't actually really KNOW someone..i actually even get to know people from India, Kenya, Bangladesh, Indonesia and of course people from other states. its like wow. monash is INDEED an international university..

yep. so i still don't have lunch mate, not knowing the people close enough, especially GIRLS. and the guys all look like soloist too.. oh well..i believe things would be better in the second week. having more tutorial classes and all..then i can start joining clubs and societies??hmmm..nice indeed..

so. monash huh..i never dreamt i'll actually be studying here..its like a high class university..the services is first class, the security guards are friendly and helpful..i saw there's rock climbing, snookering , Foosball facilities in the university.. WOW. compare to *cough* inti *cough*..its really different..the lecturers are nice, and i trust their teaching is good too. and their online system is wonderful!! web drive and website system those..i can access everything on my iPad!!haha..and i mean EVERYTHING. lecture notes, practices, past year assessments, announcements.. everything is so organized and ready-made..my iPad is sooooooooo useful =D

oh ya, and the library??its AWESOME.. there's more computers than enough, each also already contain all the files of all the lectures..and on the 3rd floor, there's actually a seperated room with cosy, colourful bean bags, sofas, cushions and small desks..sooo fitted for a slow study or short rest or just to hang out..so, my dad paid for me to study here. hrm. so expensive. and so i MUST study well, learn well, behave well. or i think i'll kena lightning or god'll take away all the awesome stuffs i have..like my car and iPad. hrm. choi! so, i promise to be good!!

okay. the classes. its interesting..for the first week its mostly repeating of form 5 and a level stuff, though they go through it quite fast..aiks. and i wasn't really paying attention. i believe i'll need absolute attention in future lessons, as the lectures progress quite fast. oops.. eventually i'll also need skills to jot down the lectures..hmm.. so the only interesting part of my curremt assignment now is to build a hospital!! haha.. its a project in Engineering Professions. where we're randomly spilt into groups of 5, then its like we're hired by some real life medical group, to build a actual private hospital in Bandar Puchong. cool huh?? and the main thing is to come out with a design where its energy efficient and maximises usage of reusable energy..we have to consider the cost, feasibility, energy, design, facilities, location, technology, comfort, services and other aspects we're to put in the hospital. haha. i'm in charge of the design..so i'm trying to find any materials concerning going green buildings.

hmm..uni life indeed. this is going to be a awesome four years =D

chaoz~

BLUE and RED

haha.i think this the the best post title i had, ever. hrm..anyway, i just got counselled today, by the person who called me in my previous post. haha. first, thanks him a lot!!i got a much much clearer picture of the exits where the path i chose leads to.

so, engineering. apparently, i'm suitable for it after all! phew, a great relieve. the designing of circuit or system, researching, testing, improvising. isn't that my hobby or not?haha. but apparently, although i will like it, people will get sick of it eventually after few years doing the same thing stuck in the office. some choose to leave and go into sales instead, and start a small business of selling chemicals, for instance. and you who is left behind would start to think about leaving soon too, when all the people around you went away and get a better pay outside the office. hrm. the other route is go into management, climb the corporate ladder. BUT, i need to be prepared for the social skill thingy, facade, communicating, facade, network building and stuff, and be PRO at it. aiks. sound so tough for me as a BLUE person.

hmm. or, quit the engineering world, all the adventures and possibilities, and settle down educating the younger generations instead, as a lecturer. or, continue with studying and researching until i achieve the great position as a PE?? or, quit the job thing once and for all, and stay at home as a full time housewife.lol. this is so NOT an option.

hmm..so which do i want?perfect career life or great family supporter? apparently, i need to decide now so i can focus on polishing the skills i need in these last four years of education before i step into total chaos of the outside world. its now or never.

i tell you what i want. i want BALANCE. hrm. and this is actually a tough position to be into. and why is that?because i'm OKAY with anything. i can be stuck in a office forever designing great stuff. i can start a business if i have a partner and be organised with it. i can be lecturer and be happy with youngsters. i can do part time job and live more for my future family. lol. and if i'm just okay with everything, i would not excel in anything. i would not focus and give my best to whatever i'm doing. and again, stuck in the centre, weird, middle range. this is what the 'BALANCE' i want would turn out.

see??see how bad it would be??so i have to push myself from now. bear in mind what would turn out if i don't give my best. and really really FOCUS in what i HAVE to do now. ya. my red colour. improve my red colour!!!my blue is more than enough, maybe i even won't need to work that hard to graduate as an engineer. but my RED. only freaking four years left to work with it. its do or die. i DON'T want to be a nerdy engineer who is stuck in her post and friendless forever. ( choi! btw.) apparently my 'redness' is BELOW the passing rate. aiks. i so don't want this. i wasn't like this. its the freaking bloody nerdy stupid a levels which made me turn out like this in these past two years. i was a leader. i was brave. i was active. i was SOCIAL. long ago. it should be still in me. i just need to awaken it once again. the passion to bond with people, to care, to love and to believe.

RED RED!!GO RED!!

i'm on the highway already. the 'ENGINEERING' highway. i still don't know which exit i would take that i'll be on for the rest of my life. but i know to get til the end, 'RED' is my essential catalyst. it'll craft my way and lead me to a life i can cope with, no matter what the obstacles are. i've known this for a long time already, but only in my brain. today, i've listen to exact words of my greatest failure thrown at my face by other people. its time for the problem to be faced and to be solved. its time to shape myself to a better, stronger, braver, greater person. IN THESE FOUR YEARS.

hmph. i can do it. i must do it. i must change. i must not eat my own words.

chaoz for now. til then.